Down the road

Maggie: I love you.

Antoine: …

Maggie: And down the road I’ve learned that there’s no way to love you more, to love you less. I love you as I have always loved you. From the first day when we met, to this day. I love you, Antoine. You always knew that, right?

 

A: I haven’t forgotten the night you visited me at the hospital… when I had that heart attack and my son called you because he thought I was about to die.

M: I would never forget that call. I felt my whole world collapse.

A: I heard him while he was calling you, I told him not to.

M: Why?

A: I’m not sure. I wasn’t sure that I was about to die so I thought there was no point on alarming you. But also, I considered dying, and I wasn’t sure I wanted you to watch me die anyway… I knew how it felt watching someone you love slowly go… and I didn’t wanted that for you.

 

M: So when your wife died…

A: So unfair.

M: True… Judy was amazing.

A: Honestly, she was indeed. Weren’t you jealous of her all this time?

M: Jealous? Not for a second, she had cancer, remember?

A: Don’t be mean, you know what kind of jealous I’m talking about. Not that you wanted her life but maybe…

M: Not. Maybe nothing, my love.

 

M: Remember when you had your first kid?

A: As if it were yesterday.

M: You were such a dork back in the days.

A: What you mean by “a dork”?

M: You know! Adorable but kind of dump haha

A: Kind of dump! What a thing to say!

M: Don’t sweat it, boy! All men are dorks when they are new parents.

A: I guess so… I must admit it’s one of the scariest yet most amusing parts of life.

M: Being a new parent… So many feelings, fears, dreams…

A: Now you are being a dork…

M: Ha! Is there any other way to be a parent?

 

M: Ugh, the divorce. Remember my divorce? I always wonder why I married him in the first place.

A: Because you had his kid.

M: Yes, right, that’s the logical answer but that wasn’t it. I had options. I could have chosen to be a single mother or abortion!

A: You couldn’t possibly, you were too proud of yourself to give anyone a chance to judge you.

M: Can’t deny it… I tried so hard to make it look like that was all I wanted: a family, a husband, a kid…

A: Though it wasn’t.

M: You were the only one who ever knew the truth.

A: That it was a mistake? That you, Maggie-the-perfect, messed up?

M: I didn’t even admit it to my mother. I regret that so much, you know?

A: Never ever told her?

M: Never-ever told anyone but you.

A: Woah… why? You know that humans do make mistakes, right Maggie?

M: Not me, you said it, Maggie-the-perfect… I couldn’t deal with it any other way. I couldn’t believe I had messed up my whole damn life in one night.

A: So you weren’t just lying to everyone… you were also lying to yourself.

M: Saying that it had been my intention to have that kid made me feel less stupid. I knew what everyone was thinking: poor stupid girl who felt in love with his professor and got pregnant. Such a cliché! Oh no, sir, I wasn’t going to be that stupid kiddo. No way. I had to do it. I had to affirm that I had everything under control, I was so decided to turn it all around… but how little I knew, ha… Anyway, even if I now regret it, I know it was the only thing that helped me go through it at that moment.

A: Lying?

M: Stop saying that I lied. I said that that was part of the plan to get me where I wanted and it actually did, by marrying Charles, a well known writer, a Chicago Tribune columnist, a professor of the Art Institute of Chicago, I got included in the top writing circles and God knows if without that green-card as a husband I would had made it to where I did.

A: You certainly would have, Maggie. Don’t fool yourself now, it’s been so long and there’s no wrong in admitting a past mistake.

 

M: And college; those million classes we had together… Ugh so painful.

A: Shut up, you still loved me then.

M: Of course I did, that’s why it was so painful

A: Well, I hated you, that’s why it was painful for me.

M: Why did you hate me?

A: You know well the answer. Or shall I say, the answer’s name…

 

A: Remember that Halloween we wore matching costumes and we strolled through the city the whole day long wearing them …

M: Don’t…

A: …Our trip to the cemetery, the “trick and treat” part, all the candy we stole from those kids and…

M: Don’t bring back that memory, Antoine, please!

A: …the party we crashed when the night came, what we did before it got us to jail for the first time! And I recall you were so afraid, and for the first time also I was the brave one, I stood up to the cop just as I did to your parents later that night.

M: …

A: Well, I guess you remember… Say something. You can’t deny it was so good.

M: Doesn’t it bother you to remember it was?

A: Bothers me? Why would it? Every time I think about it, I smile.

M: But it’s not a happiness smile, it’s a nostalgic smile, my dear.

A: What’s the difference? I smile because it was good.

M: Well, that’s why it bothers me so much. It was so good but so ephemeral. For so long it represented everything I would miss in the time to come… That was the day I felt alive for the first time, the day I knew what love was, what freedom felt like, while being behind that mask, not being me but a different self, I realized how it felt not to care about what others think, and what it meant having someone to trust, being sure that someone would have your back no matter what, not being afraid. I’ve never felt that way again, and that’s why I can’t bear to remember that day. It was one in a million; I’ve never had a day like that before, and I’ve never had a day like that after.

 

A: Have you realized that they day we broke up… was the day it all started?

M: …

A: When you called me at 3 am after that big, stupid fight… and you told me you loved me and that you just wanted to make it clear that it was because of all that love that you were choosing to let me go.

M: Wasn’t the Halloween adventure before our break up?

A: No. But you know that. I loved you more when we broke up.

M: You loved me more when you didn’t have me, what a shame, all men are the same.

A: Halloween was two months after our break up, we had started talking again a few weeks before…

M: I know… And I also remember I told you I wanted to do something for Halloween…

A: And I knew how much you loved Halloween

M: So instead of just suggesting a normal thing to do, scary-movies marathon, trick or treat night…

A: I planned the whole thing. Well, except for the cops part.

M: Oh! So you planned the party crashing and the pot and…

A: Before you accuse me of planning our first time too, I must assure you that was just a silver linning!

M: I don’t believe you.

A: I don’t need you to believe me, I’ve never had.

M: So back to the point, seems like I was right again.

A: What are you talking about?

M: About letting you go. You just said that was the day when it all started.

A: Oh no, if you hadn’t let me go everything would have happened anyway but more nicely.

M: You know it wouldn’t. We wouldn’t have passed from the high-school-sweethearts label.

A: So what you are saying is you were damn sure that by breaking my heart we could go past that label to what was about to unfold between us, a lifetime relationship.

M: Damn sure I was, you are right.

A: You’re wicked. And you are heartless… yet you called me that night saying you loved me.

M: I called you at 3 am that night because I knew you hated me at that moment but I wanted to make sure that you’ll love me down the road.

A: …

M: And now… that we’ve been down the road, darling… would you say you love me?

A: …

M: Do you, Antoine?

A: I hate… I hate to do this. But I guess I must admit you were right all this time… Yes, you were always right, Maggie. And I love you.

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89* Happy Ending

Back To The French amour!

Mika

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Excuse my french but I actually thought this musical genius was from France because my favorite album from him The Origin of Love has several songs in french, for example: Elle m’a dit, Karen, L’Amour Dans Le Mauvais Temps and Un Soleil Mal Lune, and also he has other songs like Grace Kelly that have been traduced to frech but now I know he’s just a great fluent-french-speaker-lebanese-born british who lived in France since he was young!

Today’s song is totally glee-ish, its vocals are so in tune yet its lyrics seem quite dark, its sound is like a “hope” injection but its meaning is so sharp. So contradictory that it’s addictive!

Here’s the Official music video which I didn’t specially enjoyed since it seems  to me too slow and post produced… still very imaginative.

I think the lyrics can easily apply to all of us, anybody who has ever loved knows what each of the words in this song mean. Or could there really be any other way to love if not “like it’s forever”?

…And here the heart breaking lyrics (english/spanish):

This is the way you left me,
I´m not pretending.
No hope, no love, no glory,
No Happy Ending.
This is the way that we love,
Like it´s forever.
Then live the rest of our life,
But not together.

Wake up in the morning, stumble on my life
Can´t get no love without sacrifice
If anything should happen, I guess I wish you well
A little bit of heaven, but a little bit of hell

This is the hardest story that I´ve ever told
No hope, or love, or glory
Happy endings gone forever more
I feel as if I feel as if I´m wastin´
And I´m wastin´ everyday

(…)

2 o´clock in the morning, something´s on my mind
Can´t get no rest; keep walkin´ around
If I pretend that nothin´ ever went wrong, I can get to my sleep
I can think that we just carried on

(…)

He #2

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– for you

No, no, wait! I didn’t ask for any cupcake.

– yeah I know you didn’t, he did… for you

– Who did?

– Me. Hi. / Oh and thanks, man. I take it from here

– Wait! No, I can’t accept it. Is his not mine, sorry.

– ugh so…

– Leave it, if she doesn’t eat it I will.

Oh well, sounds fair.

– uh great, enjoy your dessert…

– Thanks

– Thank you

– So are you really not gonna eat it?

You shouldn’t have bought me anything. Dude, I don’t even know you and…

– Oh I had to, I’ve seen you before

– What?

– Don’t freak out, let me explain myself!

– Wait, are you a stalker or something?

– What? No, no, never, is just… May I have a seat?

– Uh, well, if then you’ll explain…Yeah, yeah, sit. But give a minute to get this done. I was doing some homework but I’m afraid this chat could take longer.

Ha, take your time I didn’t mean to disturb you.

– No, don’t worry! I mean, a cupcake can’t be sooo disturbing whatsoever ha *types* Ok, done. Now explain: who are you?

– Sure I’ll do. It won’t take so long! My name is Mark, I study at NYU and I come here often. Here is where I’ve seen you before but you’re always working or reading so you never notice me. I mean neither me nor anybody else… Not judging, I actually admire how focus can you be! Anyway, the last time I saw you was like three weeks ago, you were sitting right here smiling at your computer. I was asking for my coffee at the counter but I couldn´t stop staring at you. I thought it was weird, I mean it in a good way completely, because lately is weird to see people smiling and even more if they’re smiling to their computer…

– haha so you couldn’t stop staring at me? Then I guess I was right about you. You’re just a stalker!

– What? No, come on! haha I was surprised, almost bewitched by your smile and honestly I couldn’t get you out of my mind that whole weekend. I regretted that I didn’t talk to you that day that’s why today when I finally saw you again, sitting here, I had to.

You had to buy me food?

– No, ha, I had to talk to you… and also I thought your coffee looked kind of lonely.

– Oh! Haha, now I see. And… Why did you choose a red velvet cupcake?

– Don’t you like it?

– Should you know that?

– I’m afraid of having made a bad choice

– Don’t be, you didn’t. Actually I’m the one who is afraid because you made just the perfect choice…

– Seriously?

You could ask the waiter, even though it isn´t necessary but I always ask for red velvet cupcakes.

– Always?

When I got enough money, I do ha

haha so that’s why you thought I was a stalker? I swear this was just luck!

Yeah, well great then.

– Hey I have to ask, are you single?

haha If i’m not…I can´t eat the cupcake?

– No, no, it’s all yours, just the truth.

Well… let me see *bites cupcake* mmm totally single!

haha so single must be a synonym of hungry… Just kidding! I’m glad because… I’ve been dying to tell you… that I love you.

– Wait, love? No, I’m sorry. What? Sorry, I guess I’m still one of does crazy people who actually laugh when they write “LOL” and who mean it when they say I love you. And boy, you don’t even know me so don’t say you love me.

 

Fer S.

71* Have we met before?

The piano, his voice, just 2 minutes and you fall in love

A london guy with an innate creative sense and a surprising talent for filming… Will Darbyshire is one of my favorite youtubers at the moment and today’s song was the soundtrack to his 38th vlog called “Sunday” in which you’ll find a hispter love-story captured in black and white ❤ go watch it now by clicking on its title mentioned before!

Also I strongly recommend you to visit his youtube channel (which you can do by clicking on his name at the beginning of this post) to watch nearly 40 short videos that capture moments, travels and thougths that have no better way to be expressed whatsoever.

Tom Rosenthal

The genious behind this original music is another british boy called Tom Rosenthal, you can fin more about him and his music by clicking on his name right in this paragraph 😉

Anyway, he is a 27 year old songwriter who has released 3 albums so far and you can listen to today’s song right here.

…And the calm lyrics:

are you thinking
is she close
do you struggle with umbrellas
are you leaving
are you home
have you timed this badly
have we met before

are you staying
did you fall
can you count to ten in German
can you whisper
can you lie
did you design your own website
have we met before

are you sleeping
are you wise
what can you see from your window
are you hungry
are you calm
are you on a great adventure
have we met before

are you reading
did you choose
can you see into the future
are you listening
are you scared
will you know it when you see it
have we met before

So in love with SUMMER LOVE

I’m truly in love with “summer love”…

First of all this season is an undeniable source of
adventure, expectancy, emotions and memories
that’ll last forever.

No classes, less work, free time, friends, trips and new opportunities ahead!

All this is enough for me to go crazy about summer

but lately I’ve been head over heels about an specific part of it:

LOVE ❤

               

Is not just the way movies, books or tv series show it but it’s the real way “love is in the air” when the sun is burning in the sky (I’m afraid of being just silly or excessively romantic but for the things I’ve seen -and lived- I believe I have reasons to write about it) and I know that this kind of love happens everywhere and could happen to anyone, but for this occasion, I’ll write about the one special case we’re most used to: summer love at the beach*

Because this ´kind´of love has transcended in such a way that is mostly why it’s worlwidely known with those two words used together so much, that it almost seems they are eternally joined (summer+love). I mean, is supposed that ´love´ happens all year long,  so why do we specify the season (?)

Well, the so called “summer love” is so different to any other romantic relation that could happen the rest of the year. And now I’ll tell you WHY:

Because “summer love” is everything we commonly dream of doing without second thoughts: to flirt, have fun and still chill

It doesn’t really matter how out-going you are nor if you’re usually shy::: at this time of the year you are free to act no strings attached!

-> Let’s review basically HOW SUMMER LOVIN’ WORKS:

You’re far away home, nobody knows you so as a matter of fact you have the opportunity of be however you want to be, there’s no chance you’re wearing make up or coats to hide yourself in, so either you lose all your shyness or start accepting yourself as you are (and feeling comfortable about it because finally that’s why you travel: to relax and enjoy)

After having this few points settled down, comes the action, reaction and interaction*** Boys & girls´attraction

I saddly believe we’ve created an idea of love so complicated that we are more used to find it impossible to reach the person we like and giving up even before trying… we’ve even called it “platonic love”! At times when we think we don’t deserve the person or that he/she would never like us. The truth is we OVERTHINK </3

The magic of “summer love” comes within a word: ACT.

We just feel, avoid thinking and start acting!

Decisions feel way easier in the summer when every move you make is lighter than how it seemed back home where you know there’s people watching you and dying to talk about it (even though haters shouldn’t stop you from acting) but when you’re on a different place where nobody knows you and nobody cares(!)
you feel safer to take the first step ~and why not?~ You realize that after that discovery of social invulnerability, what is there to lose?

So things get funnier(: you see someone attractive, you decide that you’ll like to have one shot to get to know them and anyway, if that person doesn’t shows interest in you too, what’s the problem?

*The huge advantage in this season is that we’re conscious of one clear fact: everyone wants a summer love. Maybe it’s because it is such a cliché or one of the first things that comes to your mind when being at the beach, being young and feeling wild.  Anyway, this FACT makes us feel safer, like gambling with more chances (or gambling drunk lol) and even though we know that we’re not the only ones with a flirting attitude… we do feel LUCKY! But the rest of the year we forget that the same “clear fact” exists: everyone wants to be loved.

Anyhow, you take the FIRST STEP (the hardest one) when literally you have to move your feet towards that ´attractive´ person. It requires a bit of strength not to turn around just before reaching him/her but it’s all woth it (trust me!) After you say the first word you’ll feel that you’ve lost a lot of weight in your soul 😉 because nothing else would matter as much as the fact that YOU DID IT, you talk to the person, you reached your objective, you were brave enough, you acted (which is way better than keeping quite when you feel like shouting)

—And the best part of the story is about to begin!!!


Guys and girls, girls and guys, girl likes guy and guy likes girl

After having those first words it’s highly possible that something big starts. Luckily there’s no pretending. Everyone knows that you (as well as them) are only there for a good time. And without first date, fancy presents or social conventionalities, we only stick to the real feeling. For sure both of you are willing to have fun (‘cause in summer that’s what’s all about) the rest will obviously depend on the chemestry between you and so on (as usual) but at the end, we know…

And here’s the magic of summer love stories compared with normal love stories:

For some of the reasons you’ve already read here, and the many others I haven’t write about yet, in summer we just don’t care about what others might say. When we find someone we like we don’t have to think much about it, we just go for it! We talk to him/her and wish for the best and enjoy the moment, the feeling, the experience.

There’s a given certainty that both of you are looking for the same: some fun. And when you’re at the beach about to talk to someone you’’ll probably never see again:: you stop worrying and start caring to don’t let go the opportunity. Whatever if he/she corresponds you… nevertheless you seize the moment, you tried once and you won’t be wondering “what if..” for the rest of your life! PLUS, you might actually have found love (even if it isn’t forever it can be true).

Another unique characteristic of the season is the way TIME loses its boring rhythm; you know how it can be so linear at daily life with our everyday rutines but in summer… time goes up and down, side to side and turned around

(who actually cares about time!?)

It doesn’t matter if you’re playing volleyball at sunset or if you’re dancing at midnight nor if you’re swimming in the morning. In summer you’ll live the longest nights holding hands, walking in the sand or lying on the beach, the days will be so different between random talks and silly laughs that every second will be special and
will seem to last FOREVER.

Yes, it’s true, you’ll start living for the moment. In my opinion, it’s kind of the only time we honestly live as if there was NO tomorrow.  We actually forget -for at least a short period- that eventually everything will come to an end. So we enjoy, we smile, we love… until we have to say “goodbye”

So, YES, I truly believe that “summer love” is simply  the perfect representation of TRUE LOVE (!) This emotion that is so idealized, so wished, so dreamed and such a cliché~ but at the same time and most importantly: it’s so easy, so simple and so common…

Fer S.